| What Kind of parent do you want to be? |
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What kind of parent do you want to be? What kind of parent are you now? No one ever has a baby and says, "I hope I ruin my child's life. I hope that years from now he is sitting in the shrinks office with a lot of issues to discuss because of my parenting skills or lack there of.
We learn to parent by how our parents parented us. For better or worse you will become your parents in time. So many of us say we would never become our parents. It is inevitable. For some becoming your parent is wonderful. Maybe you had great role models. Maybe they have instilled in you wonderful coping skills, a positive outlook on life, and the patience and love you needed to become a successful parent. Even if you had an ideal childhood, you can always benefit from learning new ways to do things. I see many mothers and fathers in my practice, however, that for whatever reason feel inadequate and unprepared to be parents. They do not feel that they learned everything they needed from their own parents. Or they felt their parents did a less than perfect job in raising them. We all become our parents unless we consciously acknowledge and strive consistently to change the learned behaviors that we wanted to avoid. My own parents weren't perfect. They were loving, attentive and tried the best they could. I'm not a perfect parent. I am learning and trying out new ways to navigate my world on a daily basis. There were some things in my life as a child that I don't want my children to experience or be exposed to. I know that many of patient's parents feel the same way. It is for these people this website is designed. I think that through knowledge parents can learn to be less frustrated with their children. In turn that leads to a more harmonious relationship between parent and child. You will be a happier parent. Your child will be happier. You home life will be less chaotic. The most effective means of learning to parent is from other good parents. It would be great to have a pediatrician, child psychologist and the Super Nanny move in to your home and help you manage your life on a day to day basis. That is unrealistic. So what is a parent who is struggling to do? The next best solution is for someone (like me) who works with parents and children on a daily basis to reach out to families. I feel that I can help those who are interested to learn how to be a better and happier parent. By learning where your child is in a developmental stage you will learn what is normal and what is abnormal. You will learn strategies to help you discipline your child in a positive way, communicate more effectively, and be a happier family. Happy families raise productive and happy members of society. I don't see many of these in my day to day practice. I want to see more. Abuse just doesn't come in the form of physical abuse. There is also neglect, ignoring your child, berating with words, or just not feeling confident in your skills as a parent. Kids, like horses, can smell fear a mile away. If you don't have the tools to feel confident in handling a situation, they will know. You gain respect by showing love and being strict but in a positive way. You need to be confident in your parenting skills. You will be less frustrated, I assure you. How do I do that, you say? I will help you learn how. So let's get started. No matter where you are in your parenting journey (day one or 8 years into it) it is never too late to learn.
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